Testing the Waters
by Jenny wrens
Summary: Nathan and Lucas are on shore leave on Bridger's island. Lucas is still struggling with everything that happened at the hands of Franklin Wise. He's having repetitive nightmares that are wearing him down yet he is still trying to handle it on his own. He is acting out and testing Nathan. This is a one-shot that happens after Teenage Mutiny ends. Father/son bonding.
_**A/N-Another little one-shot with Nathan and Lucas set after Teenage Mutiny. They are still on their two week shore leave after Lucas was abused on Abalon. They are preparing to return to SeaQuest; however, Lucas is having a hard time dealing with the nightmares, and he is testing Nathan to see what he will do. Teenagers test parents under normal circumstances, but Lucas' testing is begging for attention and a reaction.**_

Nathan carried the provisions into the beach house and set them on the kitchen table with a groan. He'd been gone most of the day gathering items to restock the cupboards. Shore leave was nearly over, and he always liked to leave the house ready for the next leave so he could just come without much work or preparation. It always took a few days to secure the house and put up the storm windows. It would be a couple a months before he would be able to get back to the island for some leave again. He glanced around the room and felt irritation prickle inside of him. It was taking him some time to get used to having a teenager in his midst. As much as he enjoyed having Lucas with him, sometimes the boy frustrated him. You could pretty much trace the teenager's steps as he glanced around the kitchen. Every cupboard and drawer that the kid used was still ajar. Milk was on the counter, boxes of food were left opened on the table, dirty pots and dishes cluttered the counter, and the oven was still on. Nathan reached out and turned the oven off, wondering how long Lucas had left it on. Nathan sighed as he began to tidy up Lucas' mess, unpack bags and restock shelves. After a few minutes, his exasperation got the best of him, and he decided to call the teenager to finish cleaning up his mess.

"Lucas!" called Nathan from the kitchen. No answer greeted him. Nathan walked out to the living room and called up the stairs. "Lucas!" Still no answer. Nathan glanced around the living room and felt his irritation increase. The room didn't look any better than the kitchen. Glasses and dishes littered the room as well as dirty clothing and other things that belonged to the teenager. Nathan shook his head in disbelief. How was it possible that one kid could make such a mess in one day? When Nathan had left earlier that morning, the place had been tidy, and now it looked like a tornado had brushed through his living room. Nathan headed up the stairs, taking them two at a time, stopping outside Lucas' room. He could hear the sounds of a video game radiating from the room. Nathan knocked on the door but again received no answer. He turned the handle on the door and entered the room to see Lucas engrossed in a one person shooter game. One look around the room told Nathan that Lucas had spent most of the day playing games.

Nathan walked across the room and pulled the plug out from the wall. His annoyance was obvious on his face.

"Hey, I was in the middle…" protested Lucas.

Nathan held up his hand. "It can wait. Lucas, for Pete's sake, I needed you to get some jobs done for me this afternoon. It doesn't look like you did anything but play video games all day." Nathan watched as Lucas stood up, stretched and lay down on his bed lazily.

"We don't go back to SeaQuest until the day after tomorrow. We have lots of time to get stuff done, Captain," came the flippant reply from the teen.

"We don't have lots of time at all. There is a quite a bit to do before we leave. I explained that to you before I left this morning. Did you do anything I asked?"

Lucas shrugged. "I'll get it done." Nathan put his hands on his hips and mentally counted to ten. He knew it wouldn't do any good to get upset with the boy. Lucas was still dealing with so much since Abalon, not to mention how distant the kid had been since confronting his father earlier that week. As much as Nathan had wanted more time to talk with Lucas, the conversations just never flowed as well as he would have liked. Sometimes he felt like he was walking on broken glass around the kid. He'd been extending Lucas a lot of grace, but he was reaching the end of his patience.

"Well, I'd like you to start with tidying the kitchen and living room downstairs please. You left the kitchen a mess! Have you even started your laundry?" Nathan saw the boy shake his head nervously. "Lucas, I'm losing patience with you. What about the woodpile outside? Did you…"

Lucas sat up. "NO! I didn't do anything yet, alright!" Nathan was taken aback by the gruff response. He ran a hand through his hair and puffed out some air from his cheeks willing himself to not lose his temper. He felt like he needed to be sure Lucas was alright emotionally. Lately he'd felt like he needed to ask him question after question, and it was like pulling teeth to get any concrete answers. He sat in the chair across from Lucas.

"You sleep ok last night?"

Lucas nodded. "I'm fine, Captain. Don't start getting all psychological on me. I'm not acting out because of my trauma." Nathan looked at Lucas and a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. Having a kid genius on his hands made life more than a little interesting. Anytime he thought he was one step ahead, he usually was more than one step behind.

"Well, you tell me what's up then."

"I just didn't feel like doing anything," replied Lucas, standing to his feet and wandering across the room to stare out the window. "Don't you ever feel like not doing anything?"

"Of course, I do; hence why I enjoy Shore leave so much. However, all good things come to an end, including holidays. We have a lot to do to get this place ready to be left unattended for several months, and I need your help." Nathan glanced at his watch. "We only have a couple hours of day light left, and I want your butt outside stacking and covering that wood for me. Am I being clear?" Nathan rose to his feet and cast a meaningful look in Lucas' direction. He heard the teenager groan audibly and shake his head.

"Crystal," came the terse reply.

"Good. I'll throw some burgers on the grill, and we should be able to eat in about an hour. I expect to see some progress." Nathan started to leave the room, and he turned to look at Lucas who remained standing by the window. "I'd like you to start in the living room and kitchen then head out to the woodpile." Lucas kept his back to Nathan and remained staring out the window silently. Nathan furrowed his brow in concern. "Lucas, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Captain." Nathan shrugged his shoulders and left room feeling like a storm was brewing. Part of him could feel the foreboding whisper in the air.

Nathan went downstairs and threw in a load of laundry before continuing his work in the kitchen restocking non-perishables in the pantry. He made up several hamburgers and sliced some vegetables lost in thought about the up-coming missions once SeaQuest set sail again. As much as he loved time off, he was looking forward to some of the science expeditions they had planned in the next month. There were some amazing colonies to explore and even more interesting people to meet. Nathan set the burgers on a plate and wandered out to the deck to light the BBQ. He looked out over the deck to see Lucas working hard at stacking the wood. Nathan and he had gathered and split a cord of wood a few days previous. It was handy to have the wood for campfires and for the fireplace on cooler evenings. The wood would have some time to age while they were away. Nathan put the burgers on the grill as he watched Lucas finish the task. One of the many things Nathan admired about Lucas was what a hard worker he was when he set his mind to it. Usually Lucas could be counted on to do what he was asked.

Nathan allowed his mind to wander as he cooked the burgers. In time the burgers were cooked, and he removed them from the grill as he glanced up to see Lucas. In that moment he saw the teenager kick the pile over angrily. He could hear Lucas' angry voice but was unable to make out the words. Nathan hurried down the deck stairs and rushed over to see what the matter was. He saw Lucas picking up pieces of wood and chucking them in various directions spewing venomous words. Nathan could see the anger on his face.

"Lucas! What's the matter?" shouted Nathan attempting to get his attention.

Lucas glared at him. "Nothing! I'm stacking your freaking wood!"

Nathan raised his hands in self-defence as another slab of firewood went flying close to him. Lucas' face was red, and his forehead was covered in perspiration. Nathan took a few steps towards him, and Lucas put out his hands to shove him away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Lucas, for crying out loud, talk to me! What's gotten into you?" demanded Nathan, his own voice getting louder. He saw Lucas take a few steps back and kick the ground. Anger was still the raw emotion that Nathan saw in the boy's eyes.

"Just leave me alone. I'm sick of you telling me what to do. I'm not your slave, you know. Why don't you stack your own wood! Gawd, I hate it here. I'm so sick of…"

"Lucas, calm down!" interrupted Nathan recognising that look in the boy's eyes. Something had triggered the anger. Whether it was a thought, a sound or something Nathan didn't know, but Lucas wasn't acting like himself.

"NO, damn it! I'm not gonna calm down. I hate you!" Lucas shoved his hands into his pockets and glared at Nathan belligerently. Nathan could feel the dare in the air. "And I'm not going to do anymore slave labour. Do it yourself!" With those final words, Lucas walked off down the beach. Nathan watched him walk off and heaved a heavy sigh. No one said parenting a teenager would be easy on the best of days. And Nathan knew Lucas was hurting. Nathan also knew that the deep- seeded anger wasn't meant for him. It was the hurt and confusion inside Lucas that was doing the talking. Eric had warned Nathan what to expect, but it still came as a shock when it happened.

Nathan rolled up his sleeves and set to work restacking the woodpile. Despite the fact that it had been shoved over, Nathan was able to fix the mess in less than an hour. He wiped the back of his forehead and pulled off his gloves, admiring the work. As he covered the stacked pile, he saw Lucas walking on the beach once again within sight of the house and sit down, staring out at the sunset over the water. In the distance, Nathan could see Darwin showing off. The dolphin never seemed to stray far from Lucas even when they were on shore leave. It almost seemed like Darwin preferred SeaQuest to the Bridger's Island because Lucas and he could spend more time talking. Nathan could hear the mammal calling to Lucas from a distance, but Lucas didn't acknowledge the creature. Nathan approached Lucas and sat down beside him quietly. Lucas pulled his knees up to his chest and continued to stare at the sky.

"Feeling calm enough to talk about it?"

"No."

"Lucas, talking about how you're feeling is part of the healing process…"

Lucas groaned. "Stop pretending like you're a shrink. I don't want to talk, alright? I said I was fine. Can't you just leave well enough alone?"

Nathan sighed. He was feeling like he was at a loss on how to communicate with the teenager. He just seemed to be hurting so much yet pushing him away as hard as he could. "Let's go get something to eat. You must be hungry."

Lucas shook his head. "I'm not hungry. Just leave me alone." Nathan glanced at the boy from the corner of his eye but remained quiet as he drank in the spectacular colours of the sun setting over the water. He never grew tired of seeing the sun go down on his Island.

Nathan felt himself smirk as he heard Lucas' stomach grumble. "Your stomach is telling a different story." He saw Lucas lean his chin onto his knees with an irritated sigh.

Nathan patted Lucas' shoulder as he rose to his feet. "Suit yourself, Lucas, but I'm going to go eat now."

Getting no response, Nathan headed back towards the beach house, grabbed the stone cold burgers and went inside. Over the next few hours, Nathan ate, cleaned up around the house and continued to putter on the laundry and other chores. As the evening wore on, Nathan kept peeking outside to see Lucas still sitting on the beach. Darkness had enveloped the teenager yet he didn't move. Nathan felt his heart breaking, wishing he knew how to help the young man. It seemed like Lucas was drowning in his emotions and wasn't going to let anyone in to help. Having finished a third load of laundry, Nathan opened the patio door to check on Lucas once again. The night air was warm and smelled sweet. Nathan closed his eyes as he leaned against the deck railing, breathing in the beauty of the evening. The sounds of tree frogs filled his ears. There was no place he loved more on his shore leave than his Island.

The sound of wood falling captured his attention, and he opened his eyes to see Lucas shoving the newly stacked pile over with a grunt. Nathan groaned, feeling his annoyance build in him again. Nathan knew that Lucas was asking for help in his own teenage way. He vaguely remembered his son, Robert, going through some rough times when he was a teen. It seemed that instead of coming out and asking for help, teen boys needed to seek attention by acting out. As much as Nathan recognised the plea, he still found himself irritated. Nathan figured Lucas would be looking for a reaction. The longer Nathan ignored the behaviour, the more it would escalate. Sighing, Nathan decided that he might as well head it off sooner than later.

"Lucas, stop it!" shouted Nathan over the railing. Lucas was picking up random wood chunks and heaving them into the air towards the house. Nathan headed down the back deck stairs just as one chunk hit the downstairs window. The sudden impact shattered the glass, and the wood tumbled inside into the basement. Nathan heard himself groan. Lucas froze in his spot, still holding another chunk. Nathan strode over to him and removed the wood from his arms angrily.

"That's enough. You want my attention, kid, you've got it," snapped Nathan, grabbing Lucas by the scruff of his shirt and pulling him away from the shattered glass. Giving him a small shove, Lucas tumbled to the ground on his butt with a grunt.

"Go to hell!"

Nathan shook his head. "I've had enough, Lucas. Don't push me any further." Nathan could hear the warning in his voice, and he silently reprimanded himself. He needed to stay calm. It was just a woodpile. It could be restacked, and the window could be replaced. The behaviour was just Lucas' way of asking for help in dealing with all the crap he'd been through. It wasn't personal. If anyone could have read Nathan's mind in those moments, they may have been interested to hear the inner lecture he was giving himself. He was working hard to keep his temper. Nathan watched as Lucas jumped to his feet, continuing to shove at the pile of wood. It didn't take long until the entire pile was toppled over. Nathan put his hands on his hips and stared at the kid who was huffing and puffing from the exertion.

"I guess you can always restack it tomorrow since you seem to love this woodpile so much." In the shadow of the moon, Nathan could see the anger on Lucas' face. Nathan walked to the side of the house and flicked on the outside light. He would at least clean up the glass and leave the window until morning. As he wandered over to the side looking for a patio broom, he saw Lucas pick up a wedge of wood and heave it at another window. Nathan paused and cringed when he heard the glass shatter as well. Being patient and keeping his temper wasn't working. Lucas was asking for a reaction, and Nathan was going to give him one.

Nathan walked up to the teenager and gave him another hard shove, sending him to the ground in the sand. "ENOUGH!" To Nathan's surprise, Lucas jumped to his feet again and shook his fists at him.

"I hate you!" he shouted.

Nathan shook his head at the words. "Look, I get it; you're pissed off. Stop breaking my windows and start talking!"

"GO away and leave me alone! I don't need you!" Lucas leaned over to pick up another piece of firewood. Nathan reached out, yanked the wood from his hands and tossed it on the ground. His own face was stern. He'd reached the end of his patience.

"I said ENOUGH! Go to your room, Lucas and calm down!" ordered Nathan, there was no denying the anger in his voice this time. He saw Lucas stare at him defiantly. Nathan knew that Lucas was blatantly challenging his authority. And it wasn't a captain thing. It had everything to do with the guardianship and the authority that Nathan had as Lucas' surrogate parent. He'd expected it to happen sooner or later, but he hadn't thought it would happen so soon on top of all the trauma Lucas was dealing with. Nathan had to be very careful how he proceeded so as to not exacerbate the situation. Nathan tried to make his demeanor look firm but not intimidating. He didn't want to trigger anything either. He watched as Lucas struggled with his own response until the teenager finally heaved a frustrated sigh and stalked into the house, slamming the door.

Nathan released a puff of air all at once as soon as he realised he'd been holding his breath. He rubbed the tension from his neck and proceeded to clean up the glass. About 15 minutes later, Nathan entered the house to see Lucas sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer. Nathan bit the inside of his lip and grabbed the bottle out of the kid's hand, emptying the rest of the bottle down the sink.

"Don't you think you had enough earlier this week?"

"You drink it," accused Lucas, glaring at him.

"I think I've had one beer during the whole shore leave, Lucas, and that's beside the point. You're underage, for crying out loud!"

Lucas cursed loudly as he rose to his feet. "Gawd, just leave me alone, would you?"

Nathan took him by the arm gently and cast him a stern look. "What's up with you today?"

Lucas pulled away and walked from the room. Nathan followed him and watched as he plopped down in the sofa, grabbing the TV remote and switching on the television. He set the volume on a high, uncomfortable listening level as he flipped through channel after channel. Nathan knew Lucas wasn't interested in watching TV but only wanted to avoid talking to him. More and more, Nathan was feeling like he was out of his element and didn't know how to handle Lucas.

Nathan walked over and unplugged the TV from the wall. He wasn't about to get into a battle of wills over turning the blasted contraption off.

"Lucas, go to your room. I think you need some time to cool down."

"And what if I don't want to?" countered Lucas, looking up with a glare.

"Well, I'm not asking you what you want right now. I'm telling you to go to your room."

"Why don't you just hit me? You know you want to." Lucas stood up and faced Nathan boldly. Nathan was shocked to hear the words. Where did this come from? Nathan had never hit Lucas and didn't plan on it anytime soon.

"I'm not going to hit you, Lucas."

"Why not? I can tell you're pissed off. Go ahead! Take your best shot!"

Nathan put his hands on his hips wearily and stared at the boy, not knowing how to proceed. Nathan thought about giving Eric a call and asking him for some advice because he was reaching the end of his own patience. The whole hitting thing had come out of left field. Nathan speculated it had everything to do with Franklin Wise beating the boy; Lucas' own father slapping him had just made matters worse. Nathan began to walk from the room, heading up the stairs. There was no use trying to talk to Lucas while he was so hostile. He heard Lucas mumbling behind him, and he could see from the corner of his eye that the teen was following him up the stairs as well. Nathan entered his room and pulled off his sweater, tossing it on his dresser. Lucas came in behind him slamming the door hard enough to make the pictures rattle on the walls.

"Do you want to talk about why you're so angry right now?" commented Nathan, sitting in a chair in his room. He watched as Lucas paced his room, clenching his jaw tightly. "I know you're confused, Lucas…"

"Shut-up, you don't know anything. You have no clue how I feel."

"Then tell me!" insisted Nathan, standing up and grabbing Lucas' face in his hands. His voice was stern but soft. "Tell me what you're feeling. I'm not going anywhere, Lucas. You can break every damned window in my house, and I'm not going to leave you. You can curse me up and down, and it's not going to make me go away. You're stuck with me, kiddo! Do you hear me?" Lucas tried to pull his face away, but Nathan held firmly to his cheeks as he stared into the boy's dark blue eyes. Nathan could see the tears welling up in the youth's eyes. "Do you hear me?" Lucas closed his eyes and nodded as his bottom lip quivered.

"Talk to me!" insisted Nathan, shaking him slightly.

Lucas swallowed hard. "Every time I close my eyes I can see you…hitting me with your belt…I know it didn't happen, but I still see you doing it. You keep hitting me over and over. No matter what I say, you won't stop," gasped Lucas, pulling Nathan's hands away from his face. Nathan watched as Lucas sat down on the bed. His hands were shaking as he rubbed his palms on his jeans. "I think I'm losing my mind, Captain. Maybe you should belt me, it might screw my head back on straight because right now it's really messed up."

Nathan sat down beside Lucas and patted his knee gently. "Lucas, I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you. If I could take away these nightmares, I would. But that's all they are, Lucas, nightmares. Listen to me, ok? I have never hit you, and I never will. Trust me on that, kiddo. Haven't I proven myself to you?" Nathan saw Lucas nod silently. "Besides, you're 15 years old. Way past an age when a parent would even consider using any form of physical punishment. Franklin Wise was a psychopath who abused you and his kids. He drugged you and messed with your mind. No wonder you feel so confused." Nathan hesitated a moment, thinking if his next words were wise but he proceeded anyways. "It probably didn't help when your dad slapped you either. I plan to talk to him about that."

Lucas raised his hand, shaking his head. "Don't bother, Captain. I probably deserved it."

"That's where your wrong, Lucas. No one deserves to be hit like that. I don't care what you did. Your father is the adult, and he lost his temper." Nathan stood up and walked across the room before turning to face Lucas. "God knows I'm not perfect. I made so many mistakes with Robert. I was away on tours more than I was home. I lost my temper more times than I can count, and it was hard on Carol and Robert both. I have more regrets that I could possibly list but as I stand here today, I'm not going to repeat the same ones with you. As much as I love SeaQuest and being her captain, I love you more, Lucas." Nathan saw tears glistening on the teenager's cheeks as he tried in vain to wipe them away.

"I can't make the dreams go away, Captain. As much as I try, I just can't."

"Oh, kiddo, I know it's tough right now, but they will dissipate with time; I can promise you that. For now, you have to keep talking. Keep telling me what you're thinking and feeling. I don't care how many times you repeat yourself. Just spill it. That's the only way you're going to get pass all this." Nathan crossed the room and stooped down in front of Lucas. "Let's come up with some kind of code word, alright?"

Lucas furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"If things are getting more than you can handle and you need to talk to me, you can use this code word. Only you and I will know it. You can use this word to tell me you're scared if things are feeling tense between us. It will be something you can use to signal a time out if we're arguing. Get the idea?" Lucas nodded as Nathan rose to his full height once again with a groan. He sometimes forgot that his knees weren't as young as they used to be. Nathan scrubbed a hand over his face as he searched his mind for a good word.

"TARFU comes to mind but that would make Jonathan's hair stand on end if you said it," smirked Nathan, looking at Lucas to see if he understood the old military acronym. Lucas' mouth widened and then a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Nathan raised a brow at the boy in mock astonishment. "Where'd you hear it?"

"Uh, Ben might have said it a time or two along with SNAFU and FUBAR."

"Of course he did." Nathan rolled his eyes. Ben Krieg taught Lucas things that Nathan didn't even want to know about. Although, Nathan thought the man was fantastic with Lucas and didn't regret the close friendship between the two of them.

"How about White Alpha?" suggested Lucas, pulling himself backwards on the bed and leaning against the head board. Nathan could see that the teenager was looking sleepy. Nathan sat beside him and leaned his head back as well.

"Any particular meaning?"

"It's a nick name I had at Stanford. I always wanted to join Alpha Phi Alpha, but of course I was too young to join a fraternity for real. The guys in APA nicknamed me White Alpha...they sorta took me under their wing."

"Sounds like a nice bunch of guys."

Lucas yawned. "They were sometimes when they weren't trying to flush my head down the toilet." Nathan stifled a laugh. They both sat in silence for several minutes, and Nathan almost thought the teen had started to drift off.

"Captain, I'm sorry about the windows."

Nathan looked sideways at Lucas and shrugged his shoulders. "Windows can be replaced. But I wouldn't mind knowing what you were thinking."

Lucas brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "Sometimes it just hurts so much, Captain. I get so muddled up inside and nothing makes sense. I had so many dreams last night that I just made myself stay awake. I don't want to dream anymore."

"Lucas, you have to sleep. You can't stay awake forever."

"I'm all alone in my dreams…I can't take it, Captain." Nathan wrapped his arm around Lucas and pulled him in closer to himself. He felt the teenager melt into him and rest his head on his shoulder.

"I promise it's going to get better, kiddo."

Nathan reached to his side table and grabbed the book he'd pulled out the night before. He'd remembered reading it to Robert when he was a teenager. He didn't know if Lucas would think it was lame, but he was going to try it anyways.

"Want to indulge an old man and let him read to you?" Nathan saw Lucas stare at him with a smirk.

"I'm a little old for that, don't you think?"

"Not at all! Read alouds are bonding experiences for both the reader and the listener alike." Lucas looked skeptical but scooted under the covers and lay back with his hands behind his head.

"Ok, read away, Captain. What's this book called anyhow?"

"13 Clocks. It's a fairy tale of sorts."

Lucas groaned. "A fairy tale? Really?" The look of disgust was unmistakable.

Nathan laughed. "Don't judge, Wise guy." Nathan watched from the corner of his eye as Lucas snuggled deeper under the covers and closed his eyes.

" _Once upon a time, in a gloomy castle on a lonely hill, where there were thirteen clocks that wouldn't go, there lived a cold, aggressive Duke, and his niece, the Princess Saralinda. She was warm in every wind and weather, but he was always cold. His hands were as cold as his smile, and almost as cold as his heart. He wore gloves when he was asleep, and he wore gloves when he was awake, which made it difficult for him to pick up pins or coins or the kernels of nuts, or to tear the wings from nightingales,"_ read Nathan, softly.

In time, Nathan found himself lost in the story and didn't even notice that Lucas had drifted to sleep until he heard a small snore. Setting down the book on his night stand, he rose from the bed and put on his pajamas quietly. Getting into bed, he flicked out the light and laid on the bed listening to the sound of Lucas' breathing. Nathan felt his weariness overtake him as he thought about the day. He still didn't know what kind of things to expect from Lucas in the days to come. He didn't know how he was going to handle things when they returned to the submarine either. There was no doubt Lucas was fragile in many ways. All Nathan did know was that he was going to take it one day at a time and see where things led them. Lucas would eventually heal and get pass the trauma, but it was going to take a lot of time and patience. Movement in the bed startled him as he realised that Lucas had moved closer to him, leaning his head against his arm. It brought a smile to his face as he drifted to sleep.

 _ **A/N-13 Clocks is a real book written by James Thurber, published in 1950.**_


End file.
